First Time For Everything
by Buck Wilde
Summary: It's Lucas Bass' first day of school, it's the first time Chuck hasn't been able to get out of work, it's the first time Blair Bass' felt lonely. Can Chuck be the good daddy that Lucas needs? I think he'll find a way.


First day of school today, I've woken up alone. My bed's too big and it is times like this that I wish my children weren't such good sleepers. Yes, even little Christina, at 6 months sleeps like an angel and Lucas loves his new big boy bed too much to sneak into my room anymore.

I reach out into the darkness and take my phone from the bedside table. There are no new messages. And this is what it feels like; just another ordinary day. The slowly rising sun is leaking through the curtains, the smell of rain is filtering in through the warm and the birds and traffic have been building a steady ensemble since 5am.

I'm alone. This simple, mundane morning I'm waking up alone and silently praying that, somehow, Chuck will walk through the front door and shout "Honey, I'm home." A terribly beautiful cliché that will have me running towards his voice only to admonish him. "I hate it when you call me that."

Instead I kick back my silk sheets and walk with abandon to the bathroom to get ready. In the shower I plan my morning. Get ready; feed kids; get Lucas ready for school; get Christina ready; take Lucas to first day of school; don't think about Chuck.

But as soon as I think his name I've failed. I shouted at him two weeks ago, before he left. The kids were asleep.

"_I can't believe you're missing your son's first day at school!"_

"_I didn't really get a choice in the matter, Blair." _

"_Don't talk to me like that." _

"_Like what?"_

"_And don't be simple either, Charles, it's unattractive."_

"_What the hell, Blair? Why are you being so ridiculous?"_

"_Me! You're the one missing Lucas' first day at school."_

"_Blair we talked about this when we got married. Sometimes work just can't wait. I go where I'm needed and deal with it. I tried to get time off but they need me to seal the deal."_

"_There was a time when you only said that in reference to doing me! And I was going to travel for work but I gave it up for you."_

"_That was your choice."_

"_This isn't _my_ fault!"_

"_This conversation is over."_

"_Don't you dare order _me _around. I'm your wife."_

I know I was being a bit unreasonable but if you knew what it was like to be married to a man who is married to his job than you would understand. It's not like he is a bad husband or father, he is great, it's just hard sometimes.

So, one by one, I cross things off my morning list. Then I'm walking into school with Chrissie in her pram, staring with curious dark brown eyes and Lucas holding my hand.

His little hazel eyes, speckled with gold- just like his father- look at me knowingly. We share a silent conversation. He says, _I wish dad was here. _And I say, _Me too._

How typical. He's not here. Couldn't get the plane to leave maybe just an hour earlier to wish your son good luck could you Chuck?

I can't help but notice that I am one of the only single parents. The stuck up society moms and dads all stand with their kids and look at me.

They notice that I am young. They notice that I have a baby. They notice that young Blair Bass is alone. I hug Lucas to my side. One dad winks at me. I feel like shouting, "Oh for crying out loud, I'm married," and sticking up my ring finger like I'm "flicking them the bird" or whatever poor people call it.

Instead I give Lucas a big hug and he kisses me and whispers, "I love you mommy. Please smile."

I smile at him. We stand together silently, scared. Chrissie starts to cry and everyone looks at me.

_That poor girl, _they seem to say. _Doesn't know what she's gotten herself into._

One couple smile at me as I rock Chrissie in my arms.

"You're doing well dear," the woman says.

"Thanks. I have had five years practice." She looks confused. Well obviously I have a five year old son, you blind old witch. "I'm twenty six."

Then she looks shocked and I smile because obviously I look younger then I really am. She's just trying to be nice. I'm not in the mood.

Lucas is tugging at my shirt, wanting my attention.

"What is it sweetie?" I look down at my beautiful little boy, and hold on tighter to my gorgeous little girl.

"It's daddy!" He says excitedly and he points to Chuck, racing across the playground in his suit.

Chuck gets to us just in time to sweep Lucas in for a big hug before the bell rings.

My boys kiss me on either cheek and then Lucas disappears.

"Love you," I call after him.

"Bye mommy! Bye daddy!" He shouts.

Chuck kisses Chrissie and then looks at me, "Love you too."

I turn and smirk at all the other parents. A real, happy smirk; and we leave hand in hand.


End file.
